Lisa K. Spivey

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Blended Not Shaken

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I remember the day like it way yesterday. My new husband and I had just blended two families into one. I was so excited for this new beginning of all that God was going to do. It didn’t take very long for me to understand that blending a family takes time. There were days I had thoughts going through my mind like…

How am I suppose to fix this?
How on earth am I going to be able to make this work?
This is not at all what I signed up for.
I don’t want my marriage to suffer because I can’t figure this out.
I’m not getting the respect I deserve.

If any of those thoughts or questions have run through your mind, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re like every woman who has been blessed with the opportunity to love and help heal a broken family.

Ephesians 3:20 says “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us.” As I came across this promise from God about ten years ago in my quiet time, I was reminded that I needed to start looking toward the immeasurably more that God would do as I brought Him my hurts, hopes, fears, anxieties, and yes, expectations for our family to Him.

Looking at the word immeasurably is limitless. This means what God plans to do is not only limitless in His eyes, but you and I need to stop limiting God and let Him work within us and our family as a whole. He is the God who sees, hears and understands and is calling us to Him.

As women, we have a deep desire to be the peacemaker, and intercessor of our families to bring unity and harmony. And yet the only action we are really expected and encouraged to take, is one of surrendering that desire to the Only One who can bring unity, and harmony. God Almighty.

Whether you grew up in a blended family (or one that tried their best to blend) or married into one, or are the result of one due to a divorce or remarriage, you are not expected to make all the desired changes to your family, in all its brokennes, together. But as you surrender your desires and expectations to God and begin practicing biblical principals, like Ephesians 3:20, you will be amazed what God can do!

As I look back over the past fifteen years that our family has been blending, I am so thankful that nothing is too broken for Jesus to heal. May you embrace this promise today.

I would love to connect with you on my website at www.realfaithforrealife.com and Facebook at Lisa Piccari Spivey and on Instagram at @lisakspivey

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As a woman who has been thrust into a blended family, I imagine you, too, have experienced thoughts like… How on earth am I going to be able to make this work? This is not at all what I signed up for. There are too many people to please. I don’t want my marriage to suffer because I can’t figure this out. I’m not getting the respect I deserve. Can I just give up? If any of those thoughts or questions have run through your mind, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re like every woman who has been blessed with the opportunity to love and help heal a broken family. In a blended family (which in many cases is a broken family) there are so many people to please and only one of you. And whether you are … divorced and trying to raise your children in an environment that feels whole, despite the fragmentation that exists every time they visit their other parent married and attempting to help raise your husband’s children without being seen as the wicked stepmom trying to promote a peaceful environment with your spouse, your children, your step children, your spouse’s ex, and your ex spouses’s current spouse and not go crazy navigating through the complexities of a racially and/or religiously blended family …you are in the right place. I have been in every one of those scenarios I just described and learned that, like you, I can’t make it work on my own. But the great news is that you and I don’t have to. As a woman or mom, you and I have a deep desire to be the peacemaker, intercessor, and leader of our families to a place of unity and harmony. And yet the only action we are really expected – and encouraged – to take, is one of surrendering that desire to the Only One who can bring unity, and harmony. Whether you grew up in a blended family (or one that tried to blend) or married into one, or are the result of one due to a divorce and remarriage, you are not expected to make all the desired changes to bring your family, in all its brokenness, together. But as you surrender your desires and expectations to God and begin practicing some of the biblical principles and practical suggestions I offer in this book, you will be amazed at what God can do.